Jesse's Story

Jesse’s Story

I’d like to share with you today the story of Jesse, our son, who was born just the size of a dollar bill at 12 oz. Lots of people used to come up and ask us if he is the smallest baby ever born. We heard that the smallest baby ever to survive from Utah Valley Hospital was 11.5 oz, so Jesse was just off the mark. But just the same, he was very, very small with a constellation of serious medical conditions. Jesse was the perfect medical storm, and very few people gave Jesse much of a chance to live past birth, a day, a weekend, a week.

The hospital defined “success” to us in terms of being able to get Jesse well enough to leave the hospital and go home with us. That is was we prayed and fasted so hard for. We saw miracle after miracle in the darkest days and had great hope that he would be “successful”. Bringing him home would validate the hard work and effort being put forth by so many people. In the end though, Jesse was called home to our Heavenly Father sooner that we would have liked.

Does this mean that Jesse’s life was a failure? Does this mean that all of the prayers and fasting of so many people were in vain? While Jesse may not be counted among the medically successful - in the eternities where spiritual measures count, success isn’t measured in how long we live, but in how we live, the lives that we touch, and how we fulfill our God-given mission here on earth.

So viewed from this eternal perspective and measure, I believe Jesse’s life was a resounding success. It is funny, because Jesse couldn’t speak. I never heard one word or sound out of his mouth. He couldn’t move. He stayed in bed his entire life. He could barely move his arms and legs. He was sick much of the time. So how could someone so tiny, someone so quiet, someone so immobile, touch so many lives?

It was his eyes. The pure wisdom and strength of his spirit was never in doubt as you gazed at his tiny body. As Jesse’s story unfolded, Jesse was asked to face, one by one, daunting medical problems - each one life-threatening, each one impossible to overcome. Yet, each one a miracle as Jesse progressed day by day on the faith and prayers of so many and on Jesse’s sheer strength and long-suffering, and patience. Were people surprised? Were the doctors and nurses that cared for Jesse amazed? Yes. Inexplicably, Jesse’s desire and ability to survive against all odds was truly unbelievable.

When Jesse finally passed away, surprisingly enough it was at one of his stronger, healthier times. I don’t believe he “died”, per se, more that I truly believe an Angel came, took him by the hand, and said Jesse, “It’s time to go”. He had fulfilled his mission that he was called to perform. While we miss him terribly, how happy we are for the little boy, his personality, his strength, his spirit that we have come to know.

Each Fast Sunday, we see fathers giving their children’s blessings. They bless them with the things they will do in life. If you were to give a child a blessing, who wouldn’t want to bless him with the things he would become: courageous, longsuffering, patient, loving, having faith to move mountains and perform miracles, self-sacrificing for others, and obedient to our Heavenly Father’s plan. Jesse possessed these attributes. I believe he is a stalwart spirit of our Heavenly Father who was tested beyond what most people could endure. And when he was welcomed home last Sunday, I’m sure he was welcomed home into a heavenly embrace, saying “Well done, my faithful little boy!”

What a blessed and wonderful child he was. Jesse knew his mission before he came to this earth. As difficult as it would be, full of sacrifice and pain, I believe that Jesse loved Amy and me enough to want to be part of our family and was willing to give of himself for our eternal family. This was a conscious choice of his, knowing what would happen. He demonstrated a strong love and willingness to sacrifice for our family, and every day, we strived to love him back equally, to stand by him in humility, in faith, and in hope. In his darkest hours, we wanted him to know that as he fought for life, Amy and I were there with him fighting for him as well.

We have learned so much from Jesse. We know that God lives. We know that God is aware of each of us. That God is watching over us as the ultimate comforter. We know that God blesses us each day more abundantly than we know and probably deserve. We know that God has a plan - a master plan for the world, and an individual plan for each of us. We know that God loves us more deeply than we can imagine. We have felt of God’s mercy. He has answered our prayers and faith with miracles. We know that God is omnipotent. We know that his priesthood is real and powerful. We know not to underestimate what God can do. Do not through our fear or doubt, self-limit what the Lord can bless us with. God can move mountains, miracles do occur, through faith and His priesthood, you can command in God’s name for things to happen. We know that God is full of grace and who generously offers tender mercies to us to bless our lives.

We have also learned about the people around us – family, friends, ward members, and even people in the community at large. When they heard about Jesse’s story, they rallied around him, loving him, praying and fasting for him, believing in him. The love we have felt from the people around us, the sacrifice for Jesse has been reaffirming as to the importance of love and the power of unity of prayer.

Jesse has touched many people. These are the lessons that we have learned. And in this, Jesse’s life, though painfully short, has been abundantly full. His life and mission has been a success. And I will thank the Lord every day for the blessings he has poured out on our family, our friends, and our ward. We have been blessed with a close-up, personal, vivid glimpse of the hand of an eternal and loving Heavenly Father.

Through these experiences, we have gotten to know our son, and our Heavenly Father, and those wonderful people who surround us, and this is why, through painful, we would never trade of day of our experience. It was a truly joyous time.

Our hearts are full of gratitude. For those at the hospital, friends and family who prayed and fasted regularly for Jesse. For the little children who believed and trusted in God for miracles to occur. We are thankful to Heavenly Father for sending Jesse to us with a plan to change our lives, and give us an opportunity for an eternal family. For Jesus and his atoning sacrifice that allows us the opportunity to see Jesse again in the flesh if we are worthy. We are thankful to God for comforting Jesse and being with him as the ultimate comforter when nothing earthly could be done. We are thankful for Jesse, who willingly chose the path he walked with full knowledge of what was in store. He chose Amy and I. We are thankful for the angels in heaven (ministering angels in scrubs) who watched over him day and night. We are thankful for the miracles we have witnessed, for the strengthening of our faith and others around him. We are thankful for having a wonderful little boy as part of our eternal family. Our hearts are overflowing with gratitude.

Jesse touched a lot of lives in his short time here on earth. We pray that you will remember the story of Jesse and know that no miracle is too big for a loving God who is willing and able to bless you. When things get the darkest, and the doctors tell you there is nothing else to do - no operations, no medicine, no treatments - when things seem impossible … that is the time to double your faith. Have hope. Have charity. Have gratitude. Be humble. Have no fear - no doubts. Then quietly watch for the arm of the merciful Lord to be revealed. Miracles do happen.

This is Jesse’s story.

Dad's Comments at the Funeral Service