Jesse's Lullaby Service

Jesse's Eyes

Jesse's Life Video

Jesse's Story

Jesse’s Story

I’d like to share with you today the story of Jesse, our son, who was born just the size of a dollar bill at 12 oz. Lots of people used to come up and ask us if he is the smallest baby ever born. We heard that the smallest baby ever to survive from Utah Valley Hospital was 11.5 oz, so Jesse was just off the mark. But just the same, he was very, very small with a constellation of serious medical conditions. Jesse was the perfect medical storm, and very few people gave Jesse much of a chance to live past birth, a day, a weekend, a week.

The hospital defined “success” to us in terms of being able to get Jesse well enough to leave the hospital and go home with us. That is was we prayed and fasted so hard for. We saw miracle after miracle in the darkest days and had great hope that he would be “successful”. Bringing him home would validate the hard work and effort being put forth by so many people. In the end though, Jesse was called home to our Heavenly Father sooner that we would have liked.

Does this mean that Jesse’s life was a failure? Does this mean that all of the prayers and fasting of so many people were in vain? While Jesse may not be counted among the medically successful - in the eternities where spiritual measures count, success isn’t measured in how long we live, but in how we live, the lives that we touch, and how we fulfill our God-given mission here on earth.

So viewed from this eternal perspective and measure, I believe Jesse’s life was a resounding success. It is funny, because Jesse couldn’t speak. I never heard one word or sound out of his mouth. He couldn’t move. He stayed in bed his entire life. He could barely move his arms and legs. He was sick much of the time. So how could someone so tiny, someone so quiet, someone so immobile, touch so many lives?

It was his eyes. The pure wisdom and strength of his spirit was never in doubt as you gazed at his tiny body. As Jesse’s story unfolded, Jesse was asked to face, one by one, daunting medical problems - each one life-threatening, each one impossible to overcome. Yet, each one a miracle as Jesse progressed day by day on the faith and prayers of so many and on Jesse’s sheer strength and long-suffering, and patience. Were people surprised? Were the doctors and nurses that cared for Jesse amazed? Yes. Inexplicably, Jesse’s desire and ability to survive against all odds was truly unbelievable.

When Jesse finally passed away, surprisingly enough it was at one of his stronger, healthier times. I don’t believe he “died”, per se, more that I truly believe an Angel came, took him by the hand, and said Jesse, “It’s time to go”. He had fulfilled his mission that he was called to perform. While we miss him terribly, how happy we are for the little boy, his personality, his strength, his spirit that we have come to know.

Each Fast Sunday, we see fathers giving their children’s blessings. They bless them with the things they will do in life. If you were to give a child a blessing, who wouldn’t want to bless him with the things he would become: courageous, longsuffering, patient, loving, having faith to move mountains and perform miracles, self-sacrificing for others, and obedient to our Heavenly Father’s plan. Jesse possessed these attributes. I believe he is a stalwart spirit of our Heavenly Father who was tested beyond what most people could endure. And when he was welcomed home last Sunday, I’m sure he was welcomed home into a heavenly embrace, saying “Well done, my faithful little boy!”

What a blessed and wonderful child he was. Jesse knew his mission before he came to this earth. As difficult as it would be, full of sacrifice and pain, I believe that Jesse loved Amy and me enough to want to be part of our family and was willing to give of himself for our eternal family. This was a conscious choice of his, knowing what would happen. He demonstrated a strong love and willingness to sacrifice for our family, and every day, we strived to love him back equally, to stand by him in humility, in faith, and in hope. In his darkest hours, we wanted him to know that as he fought for life, Amy and I were there with him fighting for him as well.

We have learned so much from Jesse. We know that God lives. We know that God is aware of each of us. That God is watching over us as the ultimate comforter. We know that God blesses us each day more abundantly than we know and probably deserve. We know that God has a plan - a master plan for the world, and an individual plan for each of us. We know that God loves us more deeply than we can imagine. We have felt of God’s mercy. He has answered our prayers and faith with miracles. We know that God is omnipotent. We know that his priesthood is real and powerful. We know not to underestimate what God can do. Do not through our fear or doubt, self-limit what the Lord can bless us with. God can move mountains, miracles do occur, through faith and His priesthood, you can command in God’s name for things to happen. We know that God is full of grace and who generously offers tender mercies to us to bless our lives.

We have also learned about the people around us – family, friends, ward members, and even people in the community at large. When they heard about Jesse’s story, they rallied around him, loving him, praying and fasting for him, believing in him. The love we have felt from the people around us, the sacrifice for Jesse has been reaffirming as to the importance of love and the power of unity of prayer.

Jesse has touched many people. These are the lessons that we have learned. And in this, Jesse’s life, though painfully short, has been abundantly full. His life and mission has been a success. And I will thank the Lord every day for the blessings he has poured out on our family, our friends, and our ward. We have been blessed with a close-up, personal, vivid glimpse of the hand of an eternal and loving Heavenly Father.

Through these experiences, we have gotten to know our son, and our Heavenly Father, and those wonderful people who surround us, and this is why, through painful, we would never trade of day of our experience. It was a truly joyous time.

Our hearts are full of gratitude. For those at the hospital, friends and family who prayed and fasted regularly for Jesse. For the little children who believed and trusted in God for miracles to occur. We are thankful to Heavenly Father for sending Jesse to us with a plan to change our lives, and give us an opportunity for an eternal family. For Jesus and his atoning sacrifice that allows us the opportunity to see Jesse again in the flesh if we are worthy. We are thankful to God for comforting Jesse and being with him as the ultimate comforter when nothing earthly could be done. We are thankful for Jesse, who willingly chose the path he walked with full knowledge of what was in store. He chose Amy and I. We are thankful for the angels in heaven (ministering angels in scrubs) who watched over him day and night. We are thankful for the miracles we have witnessed, for the strengthening of our faith and others around him. We are thankful for having a wonderful little boy as part of our eternal family. Our hearts are overflowing with gratitude.

Jesse touched a lot of lives in his short time here on earth. We pray that you will remember the story of Jesse and know that no miracle is too big for a loving God who is willing and able to bless you. When things get the darkest, and the doctors tell you there is nothing else to do - no operations, no medicine, no treatments - when things seem impossible … that is the time to double your faith. Have hope. Have charity. Have gratitude. Be humble. Have no fear - no doubts. Then quietly watch for the arm of the merciful Lord to be revealed. Miracles do happen.

This is Jesse’s story.

Dad's Comments at the Funeral Service

Love from Others

A special thank-you for all of the tokens of love and support that

Amy and Richard have received. And thank you for all of the time

and effort that was given to ensure that this day was a beautiful day.

This is a beautiful, handmade quilt and pillow, made by

Richand and Amy's church. Each square with a word

that each family felt best described Jesse.

It is perfect.

A handmade wall hanging, made by a talented friend,

and statues, given by family and friends.

A sign that sums up Jesse

Jesse's Funeral

Beautiful pictures of Jesse
A slideshow of pictures
Dollar and Jesse comparison

(bookmarks to remember Jesse by)

Jesse's friend, Woody.

Pictures and thoughts about Jesse

Funeral

Jesse's funeral will be held on Friday, June 27, 2008

9:00-10:00 a.m. - Viewing

10:00-11:00 a.m.- Funeral Services

Address: 650 E. 3200 N. Lehi, UT

(take Thanksgiving Point Exit, turn left and head east,

towards mountains on HWY 92. Turn RIGHT on 7200 W.

Go straight, turn RIGHT on 10800 N /3200 N

(it's both, I guess) Building

is a few blocks down, pinkish building.

Click Here For Map

Please call if you have any questions.

Thank you for all of the love and support you have shown

Jesse, Richand, and Amy.

Jesse

Don't think of him as gone away -
his journey's just begun,
life holds so many facets -
this earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.

Think how he must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.

And think of him as living
In the hearts of those he touched
For nothing loved is ever lost -
And he is loved so much!

(by Ellen Brennamen)

June 22, 2008 Jesse Passed Away Today

Jesse passed away on Sunday morning, June 22, 2008 at 6:08 am. He was 6 months, 9 days old. He had a wonderful week before his passing. We were able to hold him every day, and what a joy he was. On Saturday night, both Amy and I held him for several hours each. He slept peacefully in our arms. When we tucked him and said goodnight, he looked wonderful. All night, there were no problems. At 5:30 in the morning, they noticed a small problem with his lungs. They took xrays, but weren't that worried. We got a call at 5:45 mentioning that they might have to tap his lungs, but they would wait and see. In the next several minutes, he went downhill quickly, and slipped away very quickly without any trauma.

We decided to take the time to hold Jesse, and we took him outside to see the sunshine for the first time. It was also the first time that we were able to see his face, lie down with him, and hold him. He is truly a beautiful baby, a miracle baby, and we have been blessed each day to have him with us.

We love him so much, and miss him dearly. I don't know if the hurt will ever go away, but we do know that he is in the arms of a loving heavenly father and family members now. His patience, longsuffering, endurance, and courage is a tribute to his willingness to accept his calling in this mortal life. He truly was a big man in a little baby. We can't wait to be with him again.

This is the last picture taken alive on Saturday afternoon. We spent the whole day with him, and he was peaceful and doing well. No one anticipated his passing. His mission was fulfilled, and on Sunday, our Heavenly Father came to take him by the hand, welcome him home, and say, "Well done, my faithful little boy!" No words can explain the thanks we have for our Heavenly Father and the blessings and miracles we have witnessed. Jesse has touched many, many people, and strengthened the faith of many. We miss him. We love him. And we know we can live with him again.

19 June 2008 - Holding Jesse

Jesse surprisingly has stopped leaking his lymphatic fluid over the last couple of days, and has been quite stable. Doctors orders are that we now have to hold him every day! Those are the types of orders you like to hear. Here, Jesse is sleeping in Rich's arms.

He has been able to sleep quite a bit lately, but his waking moments are quite striking. He looks around, tries to figure out what is going on. Below, he checks out his Mom...

Thanks to everyone for your prayers, fasting, and wishes for Jesse. He is doing better this week, after the many scares we had the previous two weeks. Love you all.

Rich & Amy

Jesse is smiling!

Today, I (Melanie) went up to visit Jesse during my lunch. I was touched to see him smiling in his sleep. He must have be having a great dream! I had to take a few pictures.

Can't you just see his little grin?

Jesse had a rough night last night possibly due to pain, but this morning his number look amazing and he had been resting well. Continue to have a good day Jesse! He still has a long way to go and needs our continued prayers and love.

Jesse's Friends

Yesterday, I (Melanie) had the chance to visit Jesse when Emily (Jesse's next favorite cousin) and Jessica (Jesse's favorite aunt) came to visit him. With them, they bought this sign and chocolate for all of Jesse's friends.

Jesse has so many friends who come to visit him. But, I just wanted to introduce you to Jesse's stuffed friends who are at his side all day long.

"Leroy" the hound dog who watches over Jesse!

A dragon who sits in Jesse's bed to protect him!

Woody who shows how much Jesse has grown!

Visiting Jesse

Today I (Emily) and my mom (Jessica) went and saw Jesse. He looks beautiful! He's doing really well. Today was a good day. When we walked in, his nurse and respritory therapist were sitting in their chairs.... talking. If Jesse's nurses are sitting down, it's a great day! So, we decided we are going to pray for boring days; uneventful, no stress, calm, boring, beautiful days!

"In time of test, family is best." Proverb

Jesse's Family Tree

2 amazing parents

2 Living Grandparents

(2 watching and praying from the other side),

1 "Nana" (Aunt Jessica, who has claimed the role)
25 aunts and uncles

61 cousins (yes, 61, not a typo)

48 first cousins once removed.

and countless friends.

......and 1 Cairo.

This is a loved little boy.

"When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses."~Joyce Brothers

"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. ~Desmond Tutu

"The love of a family is life's greatest blessing."

Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts.

(isn't that the truth!)

Wednesday June 18

On Wednesday when I (Melanie) first walked into his room, Jesse was crying. I had to take a picture because he looks so sad when he cries. It makes me want to do everything I can for him.

Then, within the next minute, he was falling back to sleep. He sure does need his sleep to heal and grow. Get some good rest Jesse!

I was asked to post a picture of his hand and food. Here they are. They are not the clearest, because my camera does not take great pictures in the dark without a flash. So considering the atmosphere in Jesse's room, my camera is not the best. But none the less, Jesse little hand and feet are so cute! He has long fingers and toes.

Jesse will wrap his fingers around the end of your finger. It is so sweet! But don't touch his foot, Jesse has to have his blood drawn from his foot to test his blood gas. Everytime someone touches his foot, he begins to cry (anticipating the pain that usually follows).

June 16, 2008 Hard Monday

We got called in again on Monday. Jesse had the air leaks back in his lungs, and they couldn't keep him oxygenated very well. Also, he seems to have developed a lymphatic leak under his left arm that drained all day. The doctors had a hard time keeping enough fluid in him to maintain his blood pressure. Another long, scary day, but slowly he came back up, inch by inch through the day. Also, another problem was that he was very irritable, and couldn't sleep since Saturday when he came back to us. No amount of pain meds seemed to help, and Jesse was very miserable. We gave him a blessing Sunday night and by the morning when we came back to the hospital, Jesse was able to sleep. He is a really cute little boy, now weighing 4.2 pounds after six months. He has been through a lot, but is still progressing. The Lord has blessed Jesse very much, but we still need you to continue to pray for him, as there is a long way to go.

June 15, 2008 Fathers Day! My First!

Emily and Matt come down to Church at the hospital today with Jessica. They celebrated Fathers Day with us. Jesse was very cute looking around having a great time.

Rich with his Aunt Jessica looking over Jesse. "Leroy" the hounddog looks over Jesse from the right hand side.

I know it may not mean that much to all of you looking on who have oodles of kids, but after 48 years, this was my first fathers day. What a great day. What a great kid!

June 14, 2008 Life is Great!

Had yet another episode with Jesse today, where we recieved a call early on that Jesse was going to pass away today. We rushed to the hospital, and with the help of Jeff Labrum and Terrance Savage we were able to give him a priesthood blessing. I don't think Jesse had ever looked so bad. The hopspital made arrangements for us to hold Jesse, thinking it was the end. Actually, he pulled another miracle out of the hat, and came back will full vigor. Incredible experience. Since they thought it was the end, they took the tape off the right side of his face for us so that we could see what he looked like. This was the first time. Mom is holding him here with Dad looking on.

Dad's favorite present for Father's Day tomorow. Jesse looks up into my eyes. My, how he likes being held...

A clear picture of his face without all the tape. Quite beautiful, if you don't mind me saying so. My how we love him dearly.

Just to give an idea of how much fluid he lost today, it was almost 1000cc's of fluid. 2.2 pounds. That is almost 35% of his body weight. The arm band you see around his arm was tight when it started. That should give you some perspective on how much he lost. The little catheter sticking in his side just kept pouring out fluid for hours until he had lost all the extra fluid. After a couple of hours, Emily Hugo came by to visit, and she didn't even know anything was going on. By noon Jesse looked magnificent, looking around, snuggling in our arms.

Miracles keep on happening. Life is great!

It's all in the name

Jesse--is of Hebrew origin, meanings- wealthy, gift, God's gift, and "the Lord exists"

Caleb--is of Hebrew origin, meaning- faithful, a companion of Moses and Joshua, was noted for his astute powers of observation and fearlessness in the face of overwhelming odds; his devotion to God.

Sounds like our Jesse Caleb.

It's all about perspective

Seeing the smile, past the ventilator tube.

A Roller Coaster

Richard, Amy, and Jesse have been riding a medical roller coaster for 6+ months. There have been times of extreme lows and doubt, yet moments of exhilerating highs and joy. Rich and Amy....remember we are all there supporting you! Some are in the car, sitting right behind you, living your fears and your thrills, hourly, while others are supporting you from the ground below. And though it may be hard to see all of us here on the ground....we are here, waiting, and praying, sending you our love and support. You are loved.

A Hard Day

Jesse is having a hard day. Please keep Amy, Richard, and Jesse in your thoughts and prayers.

CAIRO

situation: I (Emily) am sitting at the computer, looking at pictures of Jesse. Matthew, my four year old, comes up to the computer.....

Matthew: "Mom, who's that?"

Emily: "That's cousin Jesse. Remember, we went to the hospital today, so mommy and daddy could see him and say hi. He's not feeling very well, and he's in the hospital. Jesse is Richard and Amy's baby. "

Matthew: (thinks for a second)...."Is he Cairo's baby, too?"

Emily: (smiling) "Yes, he's Cairo's baby too."

A special thank you for all those who have watched, walked, and loved Cairo, while Richard and Amy have been with Jesse.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, RICHARD!

Today we (Emily and family, Melanie, and my mom) went down to visit Jesse, Richard, and Amy. Jesse is doing amazingly well today. The past week has been extremely difficult for Jesse, Rich, and Amy. But through the recent storms, there have been moments of pure sunshine and joy. Miracles have been witnessed, prayers have been answered, and two parents were able to hold their son for hours! Happy Father's Day, Richard!

6 month birthday!

Jesse is 6 months old today! It is great to see Rich's pictures. His camera is better than mine, but here are a few pictures I took. As you can tell, I look to see lots of pictures. Therefore, I will put more on for all of you to see.

This morning, I (Melanie) went up to visit as I do most mornings. Jesse was sleeping peacefully. He looks so sweet. I had to take a few pictures.

Jesse is wearing a headband over his eyes (like his Aunt Vickie) to help him sleep better.

JUNE 12, 2008

Last night (June 12), I went to visit Jesse and he was wide awake. It is always great to see him awake. Here are a few photos and even some videos of him looking around.

Look how big he is. Jesse weighs around 4 lbs right now.

His favorite cousin, Melanie, by his side.

Look at Jesse's beautiful brown eyes.